Characters can teach us a lot about life. As with life, sometimes you have to let go of the wheel and let the characters take over and see where it takes you. In everyday life, it's usually a lot easier if we do the same. Not to say that you should be lying around on your couch waiting for an opportunity to come to the door, but sometimes it is better to be less controlling about your day. We often have a 'to do' list that is unreasonably long and then get discouraged when we can't check everything off. To a degree, you could say the same about characters and plots. You can't force them ahead but let them move at their speed.
Having said that, my books tend to move very fast. Of course, they don't always go in the direction I expect. But if a character surprises me, that means that my reader will most likely be surprised too. And isn't that we all kind of want?