Why you should take criticism with a grain of salt 🙉 (Updated)

Criticism. We hate that word: especially when it's against us. It feels like an attack. It feels like a kick in the gut. It feels like a put-down. But is it?

To a degree, it is our egos that get involved. Is it any of your business what other people think of you? Why do their opinions matter in the first place? Why do you care?

For writers or any artists, criticism can feel very personal. I know because I've been one of those overly sensitive artists who has dealt with insults about my writing. The truth is that it gets easier as time goes on. It's just someone's opinion. Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone will appreciate or understand the message you are attempting to send through your work. It doesn't matter who you are or what you do because criticism is a part of life.

I always feel bad when people tell me they want to start a book, but they seem apprehensive because they lack confidence in their abilities. Sometimes self-criticism can be even more dangerous than when other people are dishing out to us. After all, for their words to affect us, first, we must believe them. So wouldn't that mean that a part of us must carry some self-doubt?

Think about it.

Why Contradictions are Cool! 😎 (Updated)

Contradictions are fun! Something is fascinating about a character with vast contradictions in their personality because it's completely unexpected and catches the reader (or viewer, if it's something on television) off guard. And isn't that what we want? To be surprised?

I tend to use contradictions and quirks a lot in my writing because I feel it adds a little something extra to the characters. Although to tell you the truth, I don't overthink it either because it comes along naturally. Each character tends to have unique personalities that encompass fascinating contradictions.

As an example, my character Diego Silva is very dapper and sophisticated. So it's surprising that his weapon of choice is a baseball bat. If you read my Hernandez series, you will see Diego bring out the baseball bat on more than one occasion. 

Another example would be Paige Noël-Hernandez, who is considered one of the best assassins in the world...who meditates. She also used to have a self-help site online. Contradictions like this are neat. It shows contrast in the characters. 

Contradictions make characters seem more realistic, fun, and interesting. And let's face it, we all have the contradictions that make us unique. What are yours?

Do your characters have quirks? 🤭 (Updated)

Quirks are odd behaviors or habits that people develop, and as it turns out, characters are no different. Most of the quirks that my characters demonstrate aren't planned but pop up in the story and stick.

What makes quirks fun is that they usually tell you something about the character. For example, many quirks that I use in my books seem to be associated with nervous or anxious behavior. I have one character that twitches and jerks a lot, especially when he's uneasy, whereas another character (who's bilingual) switches back to his native tongue when very upset.

What I love about quirks is that it makes a character more three-dimensional. This is especially true when the character regularly demonstrates the behavior. As I mentioned in the earlier examples, two of my characters tend to react in specific ways when presented with stress. This becomes consistent throughout the books to the point that you begin to expect it in the same circumstances.

Of course, not all quirks connect to emotions. A quirk could be someone not wanting the food on their plate to touch or refusing to drink out of a blue glass. One of my characters, for example, has a lime tree in his condo. He's obsessive about it and treats it almost like a child that needs constant care. That might also be considered a quirk. Then again...maybe that's just weird.

What are some of the quirks you've noticed with your favorite characters?

Should you be a writer? ✍🏼 (Updated)

One of the most common questions I get from people is whether or not they should become a writer. For me, it's difficult to answer that question because it's not for me to say. How passionate are you about writing? Do you have the time to put into it? Are you willing to learn the craft? Why do you want to be a writer?

For some people, the idea never leaves the thought process, and for others, they jump right in and start writing. If you're thinking about it more than doing it, your heart may not be into it. Writing requires a lot of time and dedication, so if you aren't truly inspired, then chances are, it may not be for you. And hey, there's nothing wrong with that! 

Then again, not everyone has to write a book either. Some people are more inclined to work on a blog, while others might want to write in a journal, create poetry or even come up with songs. It depends on your style and interest. For me, I can't imagine ever writing a short story. I also can't envision writing a song or poem. I'm not interested in all the research required to write a non-fiction book, but fiction? Now that's my baby!

Of course, you have to also look at why you're doing it. If your only interest is writing a best seller and becoming rich and world-famous, you might want to change your plan. Not to say that this isn't possible, but it rarely happens overnight. Writing books is like starting a business. You probably will put a lot of work into it before you start seeing results as you slowly build an audience. Then again, if you're writing because you can't imagine not writing, then you are probably on the right path.

As I said, writing can take many forms. You don't necessarily have to write a book, but if you want to, then don't overthink it. Just do it. 

Do you need a website? 💻 (Updated)

If you're an author, I recommend you have a website. If you're a creative of any kind and want to get your work 'out there', I strongly suggest you have a website so people can find you.

The beauty of a website is that it is a place where people can learn all about you; your work, the latest news, how to connect to your social media, how to sign up for your newsletter, etc. It depends on what you wish to put on your site. The bottom line is that you need all your information put together in one place.

I'm not an expert on websites. My first site was free and created by a friend. Since that time, I've moved on to get a domain name and a site that I threw together myself. It's not elaborate, but it works. It's simple and contains information on my books, interviews, articles I've written, and a little about me. Again, nothing fancy, but it serves the purpose.

I think it's also important to note that websites should be simple. People go to sites to find out basic information, and if you're an author, that could be to find a list of your books, learn who you are, check out your interviews, and social media. If your site is cluttered, confusing, or lacks the information people want, it's counterproductive. You need your information easily accessible. 

If you aren't super techy and a little intimidated by creating your website, I'd recommend you ask around for someone locally who can help you. Large website hosts and designers aren't as personal, especially if you aren't familiar with tech lingo, or new to this world. They can intimidate you more and not necessarily be looking out for your best interest, whereas a smaller business may take the time to explain anything that confuses you and help you out. 

What is a 3 dimensional character and why do we need them? 🤔 (Updated)

I recently watched a show where a young actress was showing her outrage. Interestingly, she appeared the same as when she was sad or happy. The point is that her acting wasn't very three-dimensional. It fell flat.

Sometimes characters in books can also fall flat, so writers must be vigilant. There should be depth to characters. They should demonstrate a vast array of emotions and reactions, and most of all, readers should be able to see their many layers. Just like real people, (hopefully) characters have to have complexity because that is, after all, human nature. Sometimes we don't even understand ourselves, and characters are pretty much the same way. That's all part of the human struggle, and it's necessary for growth; whether it's your own life or a character's development, it matters.

I certainly make great efforts to show the many sides of each of my characters. For example, as much as Jorge Hernandez (the protagonist in the Hernandez series) is generally a very tough, alpha male, who can be abrupt, direct, and occasionally cruel, he also has a soft side when with family and especially his wife. He has much inner turmoil stemming from his childhood. Jorge fears being a bad father and worries about the future. For this reason, when asked to describe his character, I find it a bit difficult because there's no simple answer. Then again, when describing most people that I know, I run into the same problem.

Characters should grow throughout a book or series. It is fun to see where they will go and what will happen. You know, kind of like real life. Well, sometimes.

Why authors should challenge themselves 🤓 (Updated)

Let's face it; it's easy to fall into the comfort zone and not want to get back out again. It's human nature to want to feel comfortable and to be in control, but is it good for us?

I think we know the answer to that question.

As a writer, I've traveled out of my comfort zone many times. Sometimes it is topics that make me uneasy; other times it's something like self-promotion or social media that has made me anxious. Of course, this is normal. When we aren't familiar with something, we become nervous, fearing that we will make fools of ourselves or do or say something wrong. In reality, we are on a learning curve. Not only does it help with your end goals as a writer, but it also builds confidence.

One of the biggest challenges I've had as a writer early on is doing interviews. The first few times I've done them, I felt a bit dumbfound and not always sure what to say. I've had one journalist bite my head off because I wasn't giving her a 'good quote'. I didn't have media training and attempted to answer questions to the best of my ability. 

Since that time, I started a YouTube channel. It wasn't something I did casually. I was terrified at first, but it turned out to be a great decision. Not only did it help me build confidence, but it also forced me to express myself better. I needed to be able to articulate what I wanted to say about my writing and books. A couple of hundred videos later, I now love recording for my channel, and readers have the opportunity to learn about me and my books. 

I've also dealt with writing topics that have challenged me. Believe it or not, I've never been in a cartel, never sold drugs, never been in politics, never been an assassin, never been a vampire or a rock star, and yet, these are all topics that I've covered in my books. Not only have I done the research, but I've also paid attention to the world around me; the news, documentaries, films, webinars, books...there are many sources of information out there and many trails away from just the facts to more personal experiences. We have to put ourselves in many shoes when writing and give it fair consideration, and that sometimes is a challenge in itself.

Authors are faced with many challenges that aren't even related to writing itself. Marketing, media, government forms, and technology are just a few things that might come along your path. But aren't challenges a part of any career?